Sick

20 10 2009

One thing C loves is publicity—and tons of it. Not that it’s an entirely a bad thing, but as a national-based government agency that deals with the culturati, I think there are much better things to focus on when making releases such as the second lease to life of the dying ethnolinguistic groups and their traditions. Although C’s brainchild projects are good, I think we ought to give others the spaces they deserve as well as to inform the general public about our function.

“If it hadn’t been for me then the name of our agency wouldn’t be known!” C would rant in the middle of her random preaching. She’d look up at me, and wait for my approval. I’d look at her and wait for my cue then nod vigorously as a show of respect and understanding.

My officemates, who are twice my age, and who thought that the printed stockings that I wear to work are seriously out of style, think that C is some kind of a genius. She’s smart, yes, but I always have my reservations.

When I was an idealistic college student, I thought that there was only one way for me to go–to be a published writer. Our Journalism course generally frowns on public relations and press releases, as in layman’s terms, these only serve to “highlight the good things” of a company. But in the end, I got employed in Public Relations–my first job that was offered to me by one of my good-meaning professors.

At first the experience was amazing. There were tons of work, sure, but these stuffs were inane materials and I was itching to learn more.

And learn did I, that after seven months of employment I am beginning to see the truth in the words of my professors in college. Now I know that I didn’t become the writer that I aspire for, but I became a writer to “please people”.

“You have to put their names,” C said, “You have to make them feel good.”

Before I knew it, the press release turned out to be a litany of names. Had you been a Catholic who regularly prays the rosary, then you’d know that the press release became a home for the less-than holy personalities–people who love to see their names on the paper at least once or twice in their lifetime.

No longer will I be a “bringer of truth through the power of pen”, as my given name suggests, but I will be the “people-pleaser”, something I never thought I’d be doing in this lifetime.

“Why won’t you quit?” A friend asked me one time. She wasn’t exactly a close friend, if relationships can be defined by friendships, but she was the only one who was there who listened to me when I started ranting. “If all those things happen to you then why won’t you quit?”

Her words hit a nerve, but I didn’t want to quit just because of all these things. Negative or not, I am determined to make the most out of my job and I am not a quitter. I want to survive her type that later on, I’d be able to survive all the other type of bosses out there and maybe someday I’d shout out to the world that “I SURVIVED!”

I learned.

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